Man, sometimes I just wonder about the delivery of my jokes. Like, the other day, the girls at work were talking about an NSX some dude was selling on the cheapy cheap and I say “holy shit, somebody get that. I would seriously drown like three babies in a bathtub for an NSX!”

I get met with a 2 second period of no response and then they continue the discussion on the NSX choosing not to acknowledge what I said.

I hope they didn’t take me seriously about that shit. I mean, wtf, I wouldn’t actually drown three babies for an NSX; that’s ridiculous.

First of all, who the hell exchanges goods and services for baby drowning? I mean, that’s an absolutely absurd way to do business. Hell, it’s not even that difficult to drown a baby. It’s so easy, babies can drown themselves. Shit, if I emptied the contents of a can of soda into a sink, a baby could manage to drown itself in that easy.

Not to mention the moral implications of baby drowning in general. I know we’re a forward moving society, and “a woman’s right to choose” is becoming a much more mainstream concept, but drowning babies is still pretty radical stuff for most conservatives and liberals alike.

Honestly, if I was trying to barter with someone via baby drownings, it would never even reach three. Like, if they still weren’t interested after the first baby drowning, why would they change their minds after two more? I mean, drown one baby, drown a dozen. It’s all the same, they can only hang you once. Or give you one NSX.

So yeah, I would never drown a baby, c’mon.