I’m amused when my co-workers keep introducing me to random chicks at chapels as ‘available’ or ‘single,’ but less so when 30% of the time it’s women old enough to be my mom.
Work is so fun, I’m loving this job. I really wanna get good at this shit, no doubt, but I guess I still need to work at it. The other day I reviewed a tape with Sus, and I came away from it traumatized. lol He’s a seasoned editor and tore my shit up mad. I think 85% of what I shot turned out to be no bueno. Honestly I needed the criticism and I’m glad I received it, but it was the way I was given it that kind of hurts. Most of my problem lies in my legitimate issue of lacking steadiness. But another issue that was more vocalized were that too many of my shots were medium – tight. Issue being that I’m training along side a full time shooter who’s doing this for the job and him getting it right is important so I have to do my best to not impede him and result it getting trash angles. I hate making fucking excuses, so I don’t, but I don’t want to make it seem like I think he’s treating me unfairly so I kind of agree quickly to every remark.
But then that starts getting me worried because I remember Arnie talking about “the last guy” (a previous TBS employee who J and I replaced) an how he was such a “dumbass” and when people would criticize he’d just be like “yeah okay yeah okay”. I don’t want to be ANYTHING like this guy, shit. On top of that, Sus hit me hard way below the belt. He moved to compare my video work to my photography as if there were some kind of parallel. There’s no need to convince me that there’s a relation between the two fields, but to suggest that my video work is or (even should be) congruous to my photography just kills me. I honestly take that as an indirect attack on my photo work! lol Yeah, that’s a bit of a stretch and by no means am I taking any of it personal, but when I hear stuff like that I just wanna be like, “NO. No, and this is why…” but that falls into the category of excuses and excuses are for bitches.
So where I’m at right now is kind of fueled by some smarmy “I’ll show you!” motivation to just improve at this. It’s cool, doesn’t matter what you burn for fuel, as long as the fire’s going, right?
In other news, animals have started amusing me. I generally dislike animals, yet I’ve been charged with feeding my grandmother’s dog and apparently with this, like, 6 cats (since they apparently have taken to stealing his food). Usually this is solved with a separate bowl to distract them while the dog can have his own meal, but apparently one of the bowls got blown away by a tropical storm and somehow ended up in this fenced off area that I haven’t figured out how to access yet. Well, the other day, as I started feeding the dog, a bunch of the cats came in on his food and I made the mistake of trying to shoo them away. Before I knew it, one of them swiped at me and cut me clean on my left hand. At first it looked like a scratch and it was so quick that it didn’t really hurt, but the fucking balls on that cat! Later it started bleeding and I was like oh shit “I’mma get rabies or some kind of horrible disease now”. I think I’m in the clear though since I washed, peroxided etc. it mad hardcore, but geez, I was so pissed I officially went from not liking animals to hating cats straight up (I envisioned myself punting one like a football if it tried that shit again). However, in the past few days I started watching this silly anime called Nyan Koi which is filled with blah blah harem and talking cats and shit. The cats in the show are so self centered and such douche bags, but after experiencing that reality first hand the whole concept of animals being a certain way is just hilarious to me. From there I realized that dogs are pussies. The only dogs that aren’t capable of being scared off are those that are either too familiar with you or are too stupid to acknowledge you as a threat (guard dogs and the like). I’ve tried it on the strays, but all I have to do is twitch at them a certain way and they flinch and run off; cats don’t even budge, they’re just like, pffft please.
Screw all that though, what I’ve been really glowing over is that I think I’m on my last week of training for work (despite me needing to work more on my shooting). Of course, I said that last week, but shit, I see next week being the beast in the lake. I don’t know what that means, but roll with me on it. I’ve been broke all month and my money managing skills are absolute shit. Last paycheck was weak sauce, but I thought I divvied it up properly. After paying bills and taking care of essentials I put 150 in the bank (for my car), put 80 in my “I want to buy a 32inch 1080p LCD” can and kept what remained for gas & food. Yeah, what was left didn’t last me a week and a half and to date I’ve had to dip into my TV fund for 60 bucks. Even with the gas/phone check I got last week and tips I’ve been picking up, I’ve only got a quarter tank of gas and 7 dollars in my wallet. Oh my gosh, how much gas am I using in that freaking truck that 20 dollars doesn’t last me a goddamn week. (For the record, my precious Celica that I must sell would make 20 bucks last nearly a month). When I worked in Conroe but lived in Huntsville, I still don’t remember putting this much money towards gas. Effing stupid. I’m pretty sure switching to a turbo 4 isn’t going to really change things, but maybe it’ll put me in a better state of driving (less rushy, more “man, I love cruising”).
I’ve gotten back to writing though! I’ve got a couple pages down (fucking lie, I’ve got a page and a half) on a story called “Your Favorite Phonies” (working title). It’s about a record producer that is hugely successful, but deep down isn’t satisfied by his work. He doesn’t really do anything about it till he meets that special someone and blah blah. It’s still cooking, but I mentioned blowjobs a couple times on page one so it’s definitely got my fingers in it. I like the idea of having a “fiction” folder and filling it up gradually with projects that usually don’t make it past a couple pages. This one was inspired by a wikipedia article on Fratire and I kind of wanted to make some sort of anti-genre piece to fit into it, but I don’t know where the story wants to go with itself yet. I’d like it to be a spiritual sibling to “Open Windows” if possible, but I’ll go where the story takes me.
In any case, I should probably get to sleep. I have a nine o’clock at San Vi, yay. (I don’t like shooting San Vi)
This entry was posted on Sunday, October 18th, 2009 at 9:54 pm and is filed under Another Blog, Literature, Whining, Work. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
