For the past few days I’ve had the most ridiculous fever of my life. It came down sometime after the barbecue at the family reunion. I’m still kinda sniffling from it, but at least I’ve stopped hallucinating.
Seriously, no joke, I was hallucinating like mad and I don’t even remember most of it, and what I do remember barely makes sense to me anymore.
The two main things I remembered visualizing was a scene that kinda resembled a game of pong mashed with tether ball, but it was all fleshy like the inside of my chest (or what I imagine it looks like). The way that it worked is there was a a heart or organ or something and it represented what I imagine is my sickness and I’d keep pushing it away from me, but some other force was pushing it back. The way I saw it, was that if I got it out of my space, I’d be all healthy again, but someone else would take my sickness. The same rules applied to my mystery opponent and it was a battle of them versus me.
I passed out on the couch of our patio, because I felt that it was too cold in my room (at 80* Fahrenheit?!), and I lay there for a few hours seeing this vision. It wasn’t until like a dozen relatives came into the house and began chattering up the storm that I realized that none of the shit I saw made any kind of logical fucking sense. My mom had also apparently thrown a blanket on me and an icerag on my forehead in between making dinner for everyone.
Despite being sick and having no appetite, the spaghetti, garlic bread and brownies (!!!!) looked too good for me to pass up. Yeah, that was a bad idea. After a forkful of spaghetti, I ran to the bathroom to vomit 60% of it back into the toilet. Being the delusional tard that I was, I’d ended up washing my hands, wiping my mouth and sitting down for another forkful. I think I ended up repeating this cycle of eat-then-vomit a good three times before I realized that I was being dumb. The part that kills me is that my Auntie Cynthia and my mom were sitting at the kitchen table as I was eating and didn’t wonder why I’d ran back and forth between the table and the toilet. At least inquire into the retching noises in the bathroom. Part of me wonders if I imagined that whole ordeal too.
Well, whether I did or did not, I retired to my room where it was quiet and tried to lie down for a rest. I don’t think I should ever do shrooms or acid because regardless of whether or not my hallucinations are legitimately scary, whenever I see strange things while I’m sick, I get scared witless.
It was around this point that I figured out that I was seeing things and that very much did not amuse me. I tried my best not to close my eyes because everytime I blinked I’d get lost in another vision and that terrified me. Eventually I couldn’t escape it and what I saw makes less sense now than that tether pong thing. I dunno, apparently I was controlling a basketball player with my coughs and the more I coughed the better he did. I felt it was the nice thing for me to cough and help him out with his game, but of course being sick as I was, coughing hurt A LOT. So I’m seeing this dude play basketball in an imaginary game I’d strategically cough when his chips were down. This went on till my dad woke me up to give me some Tylenol. I think I murmured something about Dimetap and Sprite to him as he gave me my medicine. I’m pretty sure I was just unbelievably amused that my dad actually did some parenting that didn’t involve scolding or tough love.
When I woke up yesterday I was feeling much better though. I knew I would be because I usually don’t experience bad fits of illness for more than a day or two, and I certainly wasn’t feeling as bad as that time I had food poisoning at the end of my Junior semester.
Now, about the family reunion this past weekend. Prior to this event I think I’ve only met like 20% of all the people there an maybe half of that percentage are people whose names I remember. Oh yeah, they sure love making you feel guilty when you don’t know their names.
The problem is that all my first cousins are like in their thirties and shit. Seriously, My dad, who I believe is older than hell is like the baby of the family, and me and my sister didn’t come along till he was in his 30′s. Can you imagine the age gap between them and me and my sister. I got cousins almost as old as my mom, sheesh. So of course whenever my sister and I do the littlest thing, my dad spreads word and photos to everybody and anybody. So they get the benefit of being all up to date and the privilege of giving me shit.
So basically, I ducked out after a couple hours in and started wandering the event pavilion (probably the lamest Hilton Hotel I’ve ever seen). After a while I ran into my cousin Crystal (she had to remind me of her name, I’m such a douche). She’s maybe in her late twenties so she was pretty much feeling my sentiments exactly. She actually directed me to the hotel bar where I was able to turn my Uncle Emile’s graduation gift into something to help me enjoy the reunion better with. Haha. I kid slightly, but a pint of Fat Tire and some rum&coke did me alright. Bartender’s are great company though. He was a funny guy in his early 40′s and gave me some advice on life and family and relationships and all that jazz. He was a little cynical and if he wasn’t paid to be nice, I bet he’s the kind of guy you call an asshole, but there was just something strangely familiar about him. I dunno, but I liked him and he was cool.
The rest of the weekend was still spent reunioning things up. (Reunion isn’t a verb, for the record, but I’m just playing ahead of the game). There was a barbecue at my dad’s frat house which aside from sparse amounts of alcohol (only Budweiser and flavored malt liquor) was much better than the night at the hotel. There wasn’t anything memorable other than watching cousin Crystal yell at some kids for playing basketball with the pool balls and the pooltable (?!) It was around that time I started getting sick also so it doesn’t surprise me that I don’t remember much of it.
Moving to more recent times, I ended up spending the rest of yesterday moving files off my big rig onto my laptop, then reformatting big rig for my mom and installing windows 7 on it. I also have it so when it expires in march my mom can just dual boot into Linux Mint and use that. I figure as long as it’s pretty and can check her email, she’ll be fine. My sister just says to install XP on it. HAW. Nay, wench. Still thy mouth of its foolishness.
I decided that while the disk was out I might as well set up a little 15 gig partition on my new lappy and set a mint install on it. Not necessarily a bad idea I guess, but Vista shows up as two boot options. FFFF- Whatever, as long as it works. In fact I’m writing this update while Mint downloads updates. The only disc I have is the Felicia release so it’s quite dated and has been taking its time with it. It’s quite nice though. I won’t mind using it for quick little net checking things and such.
When I finished up with that, my Dad offered to go get me started on a new wardrobe. Wait, free clothes? Srsly?! Done. I picked up some new canvas kicks that I love, some shorts that don’t look dumb, and some decidedly ugly sandals.
I was set on a style of sandals that I felt was comfy but the only pair they had left at Sears was the display shoe. It turned out an old high school friend was working that department and it was very nice to catch up with him. What wasn’t very nice is that he’s not a female store clerk so my dad of course has to be an asshole to him. Let me set you a tier list of respect that my dad will show you if you work somewhere from very polite to least polite.
- Young Black Female
- Young Hispanic Female
- Elderly (Any Gender/ethnicity)
- Young non-Black/Hispanic Female
- Adult Female (Any Gender/ethnicity)
- Adult Black Male
- Young Black Male
- Young non-Black Male
If you’re a young Black or Hispanic female, he’ll be the most charming person ever. If you’re an old person, he’ll be very respectfully polite. For adults, he’ll behave as polite as any normal person would with a clerk at a store, but holy shit if you’re a young guy, he’ll walk all over you like you’re no better than the store’s carpeting.
Case in point, my young black friend Jeffrey at the Sears shoe department. We show up like 10 minutes before closing and it’s the last pair they have. It’s the only one I’ve seen all day in black and I was set on getting it, display model or not, it looked fine. They’re not supposed to sell display shoes, but I mean, we kinda spent four years of high school together, so he was willing to do me a favor. Of course, my dad has to start trouble and demanded a discount on account of it being a display model. I guess there’s no harm in asking but Jeff said he didn’t think he could do it. Well enough, just drop it then, right? Well, my dad has him call the manager and runs the whole line of the typical asshole customer routines. Long story short, I’m embarrassed, I apologize to Jeff say goodbye and we leave without sandals.
The next stop was a finish line where they actually had the same sandals with a god awful shade of green as highlights. Whatever though, I make an off colour remark about the greenness and get into a joking little argument over the sandals with my dad. We go up to the teller who’s a young white girl and she happens to make a remark about the sandals that perfectly lines up with what I said earlier. I was like, “oh shit, here we go.” This sends my dad into being an annoying douche about the sandals’ colours with him picki
ng up random items in the store to have her compare colours, treating her like she’s colour blind or something. She didn’t make a big deal out of it though because it was late and she was clearly far beyond the point of giving a shit.
After that I cut my little shopping escapade with my dad short and went out to eat with Wayne, Jeremy and Melvin. Kyle ditched out, which pissed Melvin off immensely because everyone’s kinda making a big deal out of me leaving. I mean, I’ll still talk to you goons on AIM, sheesh lol. If anything, they should be relieved at how much more money they’ll have now that they don’t have to deal with my freeloading broke ass haha. Still, it’s nice to know your friends are friends if that makes any sense.
Wayne even gave me a big, heart-felt hug which was nice but slightly homo since his shirt was pink and he’d been drinking lol. I guess I really will miss hanging with these guys, but I’ll be gone a little while but not forever. I don’t intend to stay on Guam for the rest of my life, but neither did I plan on kicking it in Texas either.
I think I’ll buy myself a world map and some darts.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 5th, 2009 at 4:51 pm and is filed under Another Blog, Neeeerrrrddsss, Whining. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
